From Variety...
I do not own this picture/poster. Grown Ups 2 and/or Impawards owns it all.
The first scene in “Grown Ups 2” depicts a deer urinating directly onto Adam Sandler’s
face. The penultimate scene (spoiler alert) depicts the very same deer
apparently castrating Taylor Lautner. These bookends are not only the
film’s highlights, they also represent the closest it comes to
establishing any sort of narrative throughline. Among the slackest,
laziest, least movie-like movies released by a major studio in the last
decade, “Grown Ups 2” is perhaps the closest Hollywood has yet come to
making “Ow! My Balls!” seem like a plausible future project. It is all
but guaranteed a strong opening weekend.
A follow-up to 2010’s critically savaged yet massively lucrative
“Grown Ups,” this sequel introduces a few changes. Most obviously,
although Dennis Dugan is back in the director’s chair and stars Sandler,
Kevin James,
Chris Rock and David Spade all reprise their roles as high-school
buddies turned over-the-hill dads, Rob Schneider is mysteriously
missing. But more importantly, while “Grown Ups” made some often
cringeworthy attempts to shoehorn maudlin life lessons and character
arcs into all the crotch smashing, this sequel barely attempts to
function as a piece of narrative filmmaking at all, almost immediately
devolving into a hash of frantic, random incidents strung together with
the slimmest sliver of coherence
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